Ladies, there is a concentrated effort to get us to lower our expectations.
To demand less.
To be satisfied with the absolute bare minimum.
These attacks are coming from all over: the media, the “experts” and the men.
Sometimes these demands are packaged as a careful ploy, “She who asks for nothing gets everything.”
(Spoiler Alert: This is bullshit from a man who has nothing.)
This rhetoric is harmful and misguided. We do NOT need to settle for anyone or anything. More specifically, we should be extremely mindful of being pressured to “marry down” (e.g. marrying someone with less education, income and from a lower socioeconomic status with overall lower earning potential) while our peers are assortively mating.
And in all likelihood, if we choose to settle ANYWAY, we (or our community, or children, or careers) will end up much worse off than if we remained content as singles. How and why?
6.) Higher-earning women married to lower-earning men tend to perform the MOST unpaid domestic labor (housework) to overcompensate for breaking the gender norm. Specifically, they do more housework than a high-earning woman married to her equal, a low-earning woman married to her equal, and a woman who earns much less than her husband.
Marriage should be a strategic decision, intended to improve an already good life. It should be an asset, not a liability. Your marriage should be a complement to a life that was already exceptional.
Don’t end up paying spousal support and alimony to these men.
And before you send me a snarky email: “But what about the men?” This derailment is irrelevant, because most men don’t marry down. However, men who marry down take on less risk than women who marry down do, because of how much unpaid labor women all of social classes perform at home -- men are still obtaining a value, whereas lower earning men produce little to no value, and typically are a liability.)
Don't say I didn't warn you.
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